The video that a popular Instagram female comedian shared on her birthday showed her mum praying for her (as she knelt) and some of the woman’s words were, “You have been carrying this family since you were 14 years old.”
Yes,14!
Then, I looked to see if there was anything wrong with any body part of a mother who was comfortable letting a 14-year-old “carry” family responsibilities. I found none.
The woman can even pass for her daughter’s sister. That’s how young she looks.
One of the stories that a popular Lagos boutique owner narrated sometime back was a scene she witnessed in her shop.
A young woman walked in with an elderly Oyibo man (white man) and a teenage girl not more than 15 years old.
She assumed that the woman was married to the Oyibo man and that's her daughter with them.
It was when their shopping began and the Oyibo man was going in and out of the changing room to ‘press’ the girl’s breast that it dawned on her that her assumption was wrong.
The girl is the woman’s daughter alright but also her meal ticket is in the hands of men.
A mother would rather put herself through anything, just to ensure her child never goes through what she has had to do to make ends meet.
You only need to look at the bad manners that are selling like ‘hot akara’ on social media to know that mothers and fathers are no longer doing their jobs at home.
Some mothers have become so greedy and materialistic that they have turned their ‘fine-girl’ daughters into money-spinners from men.
It hurts knowing that these women aren’t aware of the damage they are doing to these young girls.
A daughter that you are guiding wrongly isn’t going to end up a ‘mummy’s bestie’ when the chips are down. You will harvest resentment in her hands, eventually.
As the days go by, I find more reasons to give thanks for the kind of parents that some of us were blessed with.
Parents who understand that doing God’s work is how you are bringing up your children and every other child that life has made to cross paths with you.
Parents know that the only way to truly empower a child is by educating them/training them and not busy pushing children into all sorts, thereby stealing their childhood from them.
This goes for parents (especially mothers) who are shooing their underaged children into social media fame with unimaginable desperation.
Can such parents boast of a similar disposition or energy towards the academics of these children?
Sometimes, I see a lot of these ‘doings’ as someone trying desperately to live their dreams through a child. And with little or no recourse to the actual talent of the child.
Lately, my mind has begun to wander towards a particular lady that I have interacted with in the past.
When her spirit is low, she starts muttering, “It’s her fault. It’s all her fault.”
Who is ‘her’? Her mother!
When I dug deeper into her issues, it turned out that she also became a meal ticket for her lazy and selfish mother early in life.
Apparently, her breasts sprouted quite early and it didn’t help matters that they were on the abnormally large size. It made her a natural magnet for men.
Do you know that while this lady was playing rough with her body, her mum found her way back to school?
The mother is a graduate today but the daughter is not.
I admit my bias towards people who turn their back on parents for whatever reason but I am also beginning to realize that some people are really not lucky with the kind of parents they received from life.
By Chukwuneta Oby
